She said...survival time

You've read the books, studied internet sites, "Google" lots of questions and asked friends and relatives. So you must be ready to raise this little one right? Uh... none of it applies to the first six weeks. Nothing you have read, learned, heard or thought will help you appreciate what those first six weeks are like. It is nothing but a test of pure will and survival skills. Some books will tell you to that it is "easy" to put them on a schedule. There is no such thing as a routine, pattern, or schedule in those early days. Yes there is a lot of sleeping, eating, and pooping but in no particular order or timing. Those who have had kids, have all forgotten what those early weeks were like. They have to because no one would ever have another if they did remember accurately. You will get more advice than you could ever process. Most will go against your intuition and lots will seem just nuts, ( like somersault the baby to help him sleep... it doesn't work). I was told to sleep when the baby slept. However, I found it quite hard, as I usually would first try to go to the bathroom, have something to eat and maybe return a phone call or two. Than as soon as I laid down Seth would wake up, or a visitor would show up. You will also hear that things will get better, and they do, but by the time you are at the end of the third week you don't believe it. You can't possibly conceive how life can ever get better. You aren't even sure how you have ended up where you are.

The secret to the first six weeks is just survive. Take it moment by moment, minute by minute if you have to. It is hard, I mean really, really HARD. You would of never experience exhaustion as you now live with daily. Getting food into your mouth seems impossible, and yet your life is dictated by the feeding of another little mouth who seems to never be satisfied. All around you your life seems to become unraveled, the house is a mess, laundry is piled, no groceries in the fridge or cupboards, and you can't remember the last time you brushed your teeth. And yet, relatives, friends, neighbours, and enemies all come to visit. You also quickly realize that despite all of your studying and cramming for this life changing event, you were no way prepared and really don't know much about raising a child. Your relationship with your spouse can quickly become stressed and you will learn whether this change will bring you together or drive a wedge between you. It is all a bit surreal when you look back on it all. But you can get through it. You do get through it. And slowly you find that things do get better as people said it would. Not an overnight improvement, just subtle changes that begin to add up to a little more sleep, and little less crying, and a lot better coping skills.

So if you, your marriage, and your family can outlast, out will, and out survive those first six weeks a cheque for 100 000 won't be waiting for you, but the first real smile, giggle, and look of love from your little will be and that is worth much more.

She said... L & D, where is my trophy?

I will save you from all the gory details about our labour and delivery, I will just go over the "highlights".

First off, who ever came up with the "birth plan" last encounter with labour must of been when they came into the world, because it is an utter waste of time. We sat down and discussed our plan for how we wanted the labour to go. In the end none of what we had planned ended up happening. I thought I would walk the halls to speed up the progression of the labour. Well the last thing that I wanted to do was walk. I wanted an epidural. Couldn't get one. I was going to stay home as long as possible, but we went off the the hospital as soon as we could. I had this idea I would hold my son after my birth and we would have this "moment". However, my body had other plans and complications resulted in Seth being whisked away to his dads arms as the doctor continued to work on me. Having never gone through it before, we had no idea what to expect and therefore, how likely were we to be able to plan.

My husband was amazing through the entire process. He never left my side and was a constant source of support and encouragement. I wasn't entirely sure I wanted my mom with me, as she has been nursing for many years and I wasn't sure I would be tough enough for her. But in the end I was so thankful she was there to support Derek and I, and share in the birth of her grandson. Also, having her expertise was a comfort and you can never have enough hands to squeeze.

It did hurt, in a way I can't describe. But you do forget. What I remember is being more exhausted then I ever thought was humanly possible. I also thought I should of received some award. That the Publisher Clearing House crew should so up with flowers, and bouquets and a giant trophy congratulating me on completing such an amazing feat. However, very quickly you realize that it is no longer about you but it is now all about the baby.