She said...I am the Dairy Queen

I made the decision to breastfeed before Seth was born. There are pros and cons to breast and bottle and each woman needs to make her own decision. But to me, breastfeeding seemed to be the natural choice. My mom breastfed, as did my girlfriends who already had children. Friends had provided me with some personal experiences they have had with breastfeeding and so I knew the process wasn't as simple as Velcro. I attended the prenatal classes and the instructor, (who never had breastfed herself) pulled out a stuffed boob and demonstrated the process. Looked simple enough. WRONG.
The latching process is the key to breastfeeding success. Be prepared for it too take days and even weeks to master this. As you and your baby have never done it before it will take natural talent, skill and a lot of patience to learn. You will have nurses, friends, your husband, lactation consultants, neighbors, UTUBE... you name it, helping to get you and your baby to latch correctly. A bad latch results in a poor feed for the baby and pain, (crack bleeding nipple kind of pain) for mommy. It can be a very discouraging and frustrating process which by the way you will have to learn on little sleep and attempt multiple times through the day and night.

Also, as a friend of mine reminded me, when your milk comes in don't expect your milk to come out of just one hole in your nipple. Instead it is as if your nipple is a pin cushion with streams of milk coming from all directions. Also, your breast isn't a faucet. If the baby comes off the nipple, don't expect it to turn off. Often Seth would cough, sputter, and choke because of the force and speed of my milk. Think of a open fire hydrant. My milk would spray out all over him, the rocker, and even the wall. At one point my husband suggested target practice.

I was lucky that I didn't end up with crack nipples or pain associated with breastfeeding except for engorgement when my milk came in. Breastfeeding provides you with new sensations in your breasts that you have never felt before, but not in a good way. Engorgement expands the skin of your breasts to your absolute limit and your breasts feel like hot rocks. When your milk lets down it feels like the worst case of pins and needles. Everyday your breasts will change sizes from hard balloons, (my husband called my bras, "parachutes") to floppy utters.

Breastfeeding also comes with its own accessories. One of the key accessories is the breastfeeding pump. There are different styles depending on how often you are going to use it and how much you want to spend. There is nothing quite like being hooked up to a machine which pumps out your milk. If breastfeeding alone hasn't already made you feel like a 24 hour dairy. The action and hum of the pump will quickly turn your breasts into utters and erase any sense of sex appeal you had left associated with your rack. Than there is the cream, (a thick, sticky paste you rub into your nipples which although I am sure to some male minds seems like an erotic concept, it isn't to us moms, as it is sticky, thick, and generally unpleasant). There are pads that help to prevent leaks from appearing on your shirts. But these are scratchy and bunch up in your bra resulting in a undesirable ripple effect across your chest.

Well this post focuses on some of the cons of breastfeeding. There is one positive point I would like to make. To all those boys in seventh grade who made fun of me for being flat chested, you should come and look at my parachutes now!