She said...the secret society of pregnancy

Pregnancy is a secret society among women. No one really talks about, except for the passing comment about fatigue and morning sickness. There is way more to it. While each woman's experience is different, we should break the silence and talk more about it. Perhaps if we did, our partners wouldn't be so inclined to say, " you blame everything on being pregnant". So here is my list of 10 things I wasn't prepared for, (in no particular order).

1. Cramps. The week I found out I was pregnant I had the worse cramps. So bad I thought for sure I was getting my dreaded period. Nope, after I Googled I learned it was a sign of pregnancy. Than they came back late in my pregnancy. A test run for labour and just to test out my commitment to not taking any medication/pain relief while I was pregnant.

2.Niagara Falls down below. While you get to aviod having a period for 9 months, at some point the pads come out again. Goodbye thong, hello granny panties.

3. Pregnancy affects your entire body. From head to toe things are altered by being pregnant. Your hair thickens, your eye sight changes, headaches, nausea, boobs ache and swell, fingers and toes swell, your memory gets worse, your back aches, your walk changes, your appetite changes... Be prepared nothing goes untouched.

4. Just because you don't see them doesn't mean they aren't there. Stretch marks can hide below your big belly despite your liberal and daily use of coca butter. They also show up on various parts of your body, like you breast and thighs. You know how scars are sexy on guys why can't stretch marks be the same on women, you know, battle scars of being pregnant. Yeah, probably to much to ask.

5. Maternity clothes are the worst fitting clothes ever made. Not only do you feel like a hippo you have to wear ill fitting elastic pants and you swear you will never wear an empire waist again. Nothing like being squeezed below the breast line for 6 months. Belly bands work well to keep you in your "regular" clothes longer, and transition you through maternity pants that one day are too big and the next too small. However, you will want to burn the band which begins to feel like a corset squeezing you around the middle by the end of your pregnancy.

6.People may ask how you are doing but they don't really want to know. They want your response to be "glowing" which by the way I neither felt nor looked. When you explain to them that yes you are tired, and having morning sickness, and that you don't enjoy having your body rented out, they never seem to know what to say. Don't ask and I won't tell.

7. Morning sickness is neither limited to the morning or the first trimester. I was sick anytime of day and for seven months. I never had airsickness on a commercial flight until I flew to Jamiaca in my 6th month. When you are sick, it comes on fast so keep that garbage pail under you desk handy. I know I used mine.

8. Fatigue is awful. The first trimester it is a mental type fatigue. Work becomes very difficult and when you come home the thought of even cooking dinner seems impossible. Than in the third trimester you could of sworn you climbed Everest each and every day your body is so tired.

9. You may hear, "sleep now while you still can", but good -luck actually getting a good nights sleep. If it isn't your bladder, you wake starving, the baby is kicking, or you just can't get comfortable. You can't sleep on your back, your stomach is out of the question, and the act of rolling over requires a forklift. Plus, all of sudden you wake in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep for no apparent reason. I had to come home during my lunch hour to try and make up some of the sleep I lost in the night.

10. Your partner won't ever get it. At first they are excited and are understanding about the morning sickness but that will change. When they park in the spot furthest away from the store and count the steps to the door because you "complained" about having to walk, you know that they have no idea what it feels like to have a head pressing down on your pelvis and that each step feels like someone is stabbing your crotch. Nope, they have no idea, they just think your waddle is funny. 23 steps by the way. The pink spot was open but no, its not cool to park there.